Following the scent of dead chickens, Chief Inspector Nduka Daniels and his assistant Officer Smart find themselves in Okoranyawu Central Meat Market. They head straight for the chicken stalls......
Chief Inspector: (Crisply) Officer!
Officer Smart: Yes Inspector?
Chief Inspector: I need you to interrogate all these chicken vendors within the hour.
Officer Smart: But sir, there are at least fifty of them......
Chief Inspector: SHUT UP! I will have you flogged for indolence sloth!
Officer Smart: (Penitent) Sorry sir.....
Chief Inspector: Where is the air freshener?
Officer Smart: In my bag sir.
Chief Inspector: Create a vortex of freshness around my body at once! I do not want the effluvia of fowl and the lower classes to rest on my person.
Officer Smart:Yes sir.
Chief Inspector: (Sharply) YOU DISCONNECTED COCKROACH! Is that what you call a vortex?
Officer Smart: I....I....
Chief Inspector: Be quiet before I pluck out your bovine eyes with this chicken foot!
Officer Smart: Yes inspector.
Chief Inspector: (Suddenly pointing) Do you see that?
Officer Smart: What sir....?
Chief Inspector: You have the observational skills of an aging camel. Look at the vendor over there! Do you see the cloth she is using to bind the chickens?
Officer Smart: Ah! It is the same cloth we found on the crime scene. So what do we do sir?
Chief Inspector: Watch and learn termite. (Walks over to a stall where a hefty woman is plucking the feathers out of a chicken)
Chicken Lady: Oga Sir! Merry Christmas. Which one now? Dis one fat pass!
Chief Inspector: I am not interested in your inferior, gallinaceous merchandise witch!
Chicken Lady: (Breaks into a sweat) Eh...eh....(she bolts)
Chief Inspector: After her Smart!
Officer Smart and the Chief Inspector run after the woman. There is an abundance of overturned tables and cries of '"God punish you". She runs into the bushes and disappears into an uncompleted building. Officer Smart hesitates....
Chief Inspector: What are you waiting for you half-witted ostrich?!
Officer Smart: I don't think we should go in there. Something doesn't look right. Did you see how unnaturally fast she is?
Chief Inspector: (Looks as if he wants to punch Officer Smart) You are not to blame for your cowardice. Your mother bathed you till you were twelve and fought your battles for too long. GET OUT YOUR GUN POLTROON! ON THREE.....one...two...three.......
They kick in the door and barge in with outstretched guns.
Chief Inspector: COME OUT YOU SHE-DEVIL!
All of a sudden, their guns become boiling hot and they drop them gasping in pain and clutching their burnt hands. An evil laugh echoes in the building and someone begins to beat a drum.
Officer Smart: I told you sir....I told you.....THEY ARE GOING TO USE US FOR BLOOD MONEY!
Chief Inspector: GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF MAN!
Suddenly, a dark, skinny man clad in goat skins comes out of the shadows holding a strange flute and dancing wildly.
Chief Inspector: Who is this odd fellow? Stop this foolishness at once!
Bellowing a hideous incantation, the man blows a strange powder out of the flute into their faces and they fall to the ground unconscious. When they come to, they are shirtless and tied to a filthy wall.
Officer Smart: (Hysterical) What are we going to do sir?!
Chief Inspector: Don't get your trousers into a twist! (An enigmatic smile plays on his lips). I have a plan....I always have a plan. (Looking to the north) Get ready for a Christmas miracle.
Till next time.....